The two of us tend not to accept physical gifts. Sometimes it’s hard to get people to understand this cultural shift. The best way to approach the no-gift-getting concept is to be proactive: we set the expectation with our friends and family we don’t need any more stuff, and if they want to give us gifts, they can get us experiences we will enjoy; they can celebrate our lives with us by spending time with us, not by piling on more stuff.
Of course, most of us don’t want to piss people off: we don’t want to offend. We worry what others will think.
Case in point—we received an interesting email from a reader, Dena, about Joshua’s essay, Letting Go of Sentimental Items:
“I recently started my minimalist journey, and up until now everything I have let go of has been pretty easy. I just wanted to thank you for this post because you helped me see that we are not our stuff. I now realize I do not have to hold on to something in order to remember a loved one; their memories are inside me. However, I am having trouble getting rid of gifts. It’s not me who has a problem getting rid of them, it’s the people who gave them to me who might get a bit upset. I was wondering if you had any suggestions? I want to get rid of this stuff because I feel like it is holding me up from moving on with my new lifestyle but I do not want to offend anyone.”
Joshua’s response:
Most people won’t notice or won’t care. A few might get offended, and that’s okay.
When I left my corporate job, some people got offended. When I stopped checking email every day, some people got offended. When I said “no” to certain past commitments, some people got offended. When I untethered from negative relationships, some people got offended.
We can’t let these things bother us, though. I think my friend Julien Smith said it best:
“Yes, it’s really happening right at this moment. Some people don’t like you, and guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it. No amount of coercion, toadying, or pandering to their interests will help. In fact, the opposite is often true; the more you stand for something, the more they respect you, whether it’s grudgingly or not. What people truly respect is when you draw the line and say, ‘I will go no further.’ They may not like this behavior, but so what? These people don’t like you anyway, why should you attempt to please them?”
It’s okay to toss the stuff if it’s not adding value to your life: donate it, sell it, recycle it. Let go of it so you can focus on what’s important in your life. Most people won’t even notice, especially the people who care about you.
Read this essay and 150 others in our new book, Essential.
FAQs
It's okay to toss the stuff if it's not adding value to your life: donate it, sell it, recycle it. Let go of it so you can focus on what's important in your life. Most people won't even notice, especially the people who care about you. Read this essay and 150 others in our new book, Essential.
What does minimalist mean? ›
When you call a person a minimalist, you're describing their interest in keeping things very simple. A minimalist prefers the minimal amount or degree of something. In art history, the minimalists were artists whose work involved extremely simple gestures and ideas.
How do I contact the minimalists podcast? ›
For general questions and interview requests, email theminimalists@theminimalists.com. Podcast. If you have a question for our podcast, email a voice memo to podcast@theminimalists.com so we can feature your voice on a future episode.
What is the 20 20 rule in minimalism? ›
And during our last book tour, we made sure we didn't pack anything just in case. Then we tested our hypothesis: the 20/20 Rule. Anything we get rid of that we truly need, we can replace for less than $20 in less than 20 minutes from our current location.
What is the 90 rule for minimalism? ›
Created by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus of The Minimalists, the 90/90 rule is a decluttering process that requires you to ask yourself two questions about objects you're not sure about: Have you used it in the past 90 days? And if not, will you use it in the 90 days ahead?
Who is the minimalist guy? ›
The Minimalists are American authors, podcasters, filmmakers, and public speakers Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, who promote a minimalist lifestyle.
What is the Netflix show about minimalism? ›
The Minimalists: Less Is Now (2021) - IMDb.
Who hosts the minimalist podcast? ›
The Minimalists Podcast Joshua Fields Millburn, Ryan Nicodemus, T.K. Coleman. The Minimalists are Emmy-nominated Netflix stars and New York Times–bestselling authors Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Alongside cohost T.K.
What do minimalists do with sentimental items? ›
Holding on to stuff imprisons us; letting go is freeing. You can take pictures of items you want to remember. Old photographs can be scanned. An item that is sentimental for us can be useful for someone else.
Where do minimalists put their stuff? ›
This has been mentioned in the above tips, but you should store everything you need out of sight, in drawers and cabinets. Bookshelves can be used to store books or DVDs or CDs, but shouldn't have much else except a few simple decorations (not whole collections of things).
What do I do with old birthday/Valentines/other greeting cards? You might choose to save a few, or jot down a few of your favorite words before you let them go. If you want to recycle the cards, cut them in half, toss the personal and send a card of your own written on the back of the cover.
What is the 30 30 rule for minimalists? ›
To stave off impulse, I created a rule that helps me avoid unnecessary purchases. If something I want costs more than $30, I ask myself whether I can get by without it for the next 30 hours. Hence, “the 30/30 Rule.” (If it's $100 or more, I tend to wait 30 days.)
